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crying in the bathroom: thoughts on grief
Throughout the day, I’ve been secretly crying at my desk or in a bathroom stall. And all day I’ve caught myself thinking, “You need to stop this. Get over the tears and do your job.” And only just now, in the quiet of my own home, has something occurred to me: I’ve been lying to myself all day. I don’t need to stop crying. Just the opposite, in fact. I need to cry right now. Grief needs to be felt! When it isn’t, when we stuff it away or shelve it behind “more important things” like a to-do list, what does it do but fester? Why are we as a…
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For Heather: Surgery and your voice
Recently, Heather asked: Hi Lindsay, I hope you still check this website. I am a vocal teacher and was a vocal performance major. It’s safe to say music is my life. I teach over 80 students a week, and sing constantly : ) I am having double jaw surgery this July and I am extremely nervous about moving my jaws and still being able to sing. I am hoping that the surgery will take the tension that I feel 24/7 and help me to open my jaws with ease… and also help open up my airways. I am curious what your experience with your voice was after the surgery? Did…
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8 weeks, and all is well…err, mostly.
Well, it has officially been over 8 weeks since my surgery. I apologize that I left many of you hanging, without a new post for 5 of those 8 weeks. 😐 There have been no disasters, and I am not buried in a pit of depression or pain or despair. I’ve very simply been…well, busy living life with a new jaw. I went back to work during week three, and managed to make it through my days relatively well. I would work in the mornings, go home for a nap, and then work from home in the evenings. That lasted about a week, and then I was back full-time (for…
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Day 15: INSOMNIA
For the last two nights, I have been suffering from terrible insomnia. I’m exhausted when I go to bed, but my eyes won’t close, my brain won’t stop whirring, and sleep never comes. I maybe got a spotty two hours of sleep on Tuesday night, and last night, my insomnia was so bad, and so distressing, that I woke Brandon in the middle of the night, begging him to pray for me. As he began his very sleepy prayer, I burst into tears and sobbed like a toddler out of sheer exhaustion. Needless to say, my days have been very unenergetic as a result. I spent all day Wednesday on…
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Day 13: Cheek Ripping
Pain: 1 Nausea: None. Swelling: Almost completely gone. I still have a mild “double chin” look, but my face no longer resembles the jowly face of Alfred Hitchcock. Numbness: My lips and chin are in a constant state of burning turmoil these days, which is, of course, a great sign of nerve health and healing. Sometimes, though, the burning/itching/tingling makes me want to pull my hair out. Going insane is a small price to pay for getting out of chronic pain though, right??? Today I had my second follow-up with Dr. D’Addario. The minute I walked into the office, everyone on the staff started telling me how great I look.…
